Sometimes a Hit; Sometimes a MissMistress EmmaJane, domination phone sex

While “topping from the bottom” is a phrase often heard in discussions on dominance and submission and the dynamic(s) involved, I have come to find that some submissives can actually take the meaning of topping from the bottom to an incorrect extreme.

Hopefully this will help clear up a few things…

What Topping From the Bottom IS NOT

Communication

When a submissive desires to give control to a Dominant, it is not a one-size-fits-all, anything goes, all-inclusive, arbitrary dynamic that is the goal, nor should it be viewed as such.

You see, you cannot force anyone to submit to the will of another; an individual has to WANT to submit to another. That means a submissive -whether explicitly stated or not- is granting permission to the Dominant to take control over him or her in CERTAIN manners, not ANY and ALL manners. After all, there are many different forms of domination and not all resonate equally -or at all- among submissives.

The only way any Dominant knows how a submissive desires to serve and be controlled and to what extent is by openly and clearly communicating just what takes him or her to that subspace where they find submissive bliss. After all, what it means to be submissive is NOT static among submissives.

Honesty in communication is a sign of respect, NOT an attempt to top from the bottom.

In talking about one’s submissive nature and submission, a crucial point of communication -which is NOT topping from the bottom!- is…

Setting Boundaries

EVERYONE has boundaries across various realms of their lives, and they are entitled to their limits and boundaries! Submission is no different.

While a responsible femdom should ensure they are assessed, communication and discussion of both hard and soft boundaries falls upon the shoulders of the submissive, as no femdom is a mind-reader and only the sub truly knows where his or her negotiable (soft) and non-negotiable (hard) boundaries lie.

Again, this is NOT topping from the bottom.

Renegotiation

Times change; people change. That includes preferences, likes, dislikes, taboos, interests, and so forth.

Given the flux in one’s own ideas, attitudes, opinions, and experiences over time, it is only natural and logical in any ongoing relationship that certain dynamics may require renegotiation, reevaluation, readjustment or refinement. The same holds true in a D/s relationship, and it is not to be feared or avoided.

In this regard, open, honest, ongoing communication is essential within the D/s dynamic to ensure that the relationship serves the purpose(s) it was meant to serve (with no topping from the bottom!).

A happy Dominant and a happy sub (in that special way of submissive gratification) makes for a more gratifying relationship for each party.

phone sex, sensual domination, topping from the bottom