Unexpected Laughterphone sex, phone Mistress, sexy humor

When I have time, I often enjoy browsing various forums, discussion groups, and the like across the WWW in order to take in diverse thoughts, opinions, and ideas about various aspects of sexual acts, attitudes, and behaviors.

Sometimes those explorations lead to unexpected giggle fits when posters or contributors to various sites were apparently typing too fast or relying on auto-correct, which decided to make a little funny. I’ve kept a running list of these amusing -and sometimes side-splitting- goofs to share with you.

Warning: Sexy humor ahead…

About Cocks…

When you have your cock in your hand and you’re working it yourself, alone or in a rousing game of tease and denial, you are STROKING it, NOT “stoking” your cock (unless it’s on fire and you’re trying to make it burn higher), “storking” it (unless your pecker is being pecked, which would have to be quite uncomfortable), or “striking” your cock, unless the name of your game is CBT!

Speaking of your cock… That is a huge difference between it and a “sock” (well, it could be limp like a sock…), “dock,” “cork” (SPH???) and a “clock”!

You Did What?!

Why “duck a cock,” “suck a sock,” “suck a sick” or “stick sock” when you could SUCK a COCK???

I suppose if it were a monster cock being waved or flailed about in the air, you may wish to duck it to avoid being knocked unconscious. Sucking a sock is just eeewwwyyy and gross under any and all circumstances. …And I have no idea why or where you would stick a sock, unless it’s in the washer, dryer or your sock drawer.

As for giving a “bowl job”… Is that what you give when you’re washing dishes and that salad or pasta bowl you used at dinner is up next for cleaning? Maybe you enjoyed that ice cream so much that you end up licking the bowl clean???

Get to Know Your Women

Dear men, it’s a “pussy”, not a “puddy”. (Perhaps you’ve been watching Looney Tunes a wee bit too much…)

As for a woman’s chest, we have two “breasts,” NOT “breats,” “gits,” “fits” or “brats”. (Of course, there ARE some women who are brats and like to throw fits, especially if a man is acting like a git…)

While a woman may be a raving “slut,” I don’t think she qualifies as a “slat” (unless she’s a 2×4), a “batch” (unless she’s toting a pan of fresh cookies), or a “butch” (unless she happens to be a slutty and not a femme lesbian). [That last one is NOT AT ALL meant to be offensive, as I find some less-than-girly lesbians to be very attractive; it’s just meant as some sexy humor!)

Around Back?

While I love my strap-on and wield it well, I would have no clue how to use a “starpon” or a”stark on”… (Ideas anyone? Anyone? I didn’t think so.)

Also, when I bring out my strap-on, I attach a “dildo,” NOT a “didlo” or a “dillo”! (Do those hurt???) I might then decide I am going to pound your ass instead of “pond [your] ass” and make you “cream,” not “cram” yourself. However, I might well cram my dildo inside of your ass!!

…And a Final Bit of Sexy Humor

I know many callers enjoy calling to talk about “cuckolding,” but apparently there are some men to prefer to discuss “cuckholding” or “cockholding”.

Now, I suppose binding a cuck could be considered “cockholding,” which is a fine idea, and having him jerk off in the corner or in front of a bull would certainly involve “cockholding” – so keep that in mind should you come across those particular terms.

Have you ever caught yourself creating some accidental sexy humor or stumbled upon some on the Net? If so, SHARE it, and let’s laugh together. After all, few things pair together better than sex and laughter!!

sexy humor, phone sex, phone Mistress

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