Dominant, Submissive… or Both?dominance and submission, femdom, Mistress EmmaJane

As is a common trait of so many of the masses to see things as hot or cold, black or white, up or down, right or left -with NO middle ground or gray area- there are so many people who believe that you are either dominant or submissive, one or the other, and you cannot very well be both. Dominance and submission are not a package deal. Pick a side, and get on it!

Well, I beg to differ, and I will tell you why considering one’s self as being dominant or submissive and/or craving domination or submission need not be a choice between two discrete and mutually exclusive variables…

Are We Always Who We Think We Are?

While we can all name and describe who we think we are and what we feel are our predominant attitudes, positions, and personality traits, self-assessment is very subjective and can be flawed, for a number of reasons.

We then have a tendency to impose our self-beliefs -personal, sexual, social, and so forth- upon others (and conversely adopting the beliefs of others about us), and that is very clearly an unfair, illogical, and presumptuous thing to do.

Despite how firmly we may be set in our own ideas about ourselves, the ways in which we ultimately behave, think, and feel are often situationally dependent.

Taking that into account, let’s go back to the topics of dominance and submission…

External Appearances and Expectations Do Not Determine Personal Reality

I have known many a man -both in real time and within phone relationships- who generically describe themselves as “dominant” – then we both come to find out that their being dominant is required and/or expected from them by a whole host of external variables: parents, wives/girlfriends, offspring, their careers, the position(s) they hold within their careers, supervisors, clients, society, particular social groups, community, prescribed gender roles, and more.

The dominant role may be a partial or full facade, and their true identity is that of a submissive.

Be sure that, regardless of the demands or expectations of others in any realm of your life, NO ONE can dictate to you how you interpret your inner, personal sense of dominance and submission; whether you desire domination, submission, or BOTH; and what situation(s) may trigger one or the other.

To be continued…

domination, submission, switch