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The Profundity and Importance of Acceptance (Part One)

transgender, trans woman, TGThe Song Remains the Same

I was recently speaking with a long-time -and absolutely beautiful, both inside AND out) transgender caller  who has a life-long history of looking for acceptance that has always remained elusive.

As far back as she can remember, she recalls being made to feel less-than, inadequate, and even being directly told that it would be preferable had “he” been been born someone else.

As it happened, she wrestled within herself for years, knowing she was a crossdresser and thinking maybe she was actually TG. This self-knowledge only left her more confused and feeling even more of an outsider.

It pains me to say that this was far from being the first time I have heard such a story of rejection…

Symphony of Sadness

Later, upon reflecting on our conversation and the discussion of an assignment I had given her, it hit me hard to realize once again…

  • just how truly familiar a vast majority of her story is;
  • the great number of times I have heard, by many a trans woman, expressions of having always felt unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated; and
  • the myriad of ways the negative reactions and judgments of others throughout their lives has left permanent scars on the psyches of some amazing people, who just so happen to be trapped in the wrong body by no choice of their own.

Turning Anger into Something Positive

Regardless of how many times I hear these things callers, each time is every bit as angering, moving, disconcerting, frustrating, and disturbing as the first time I listened to such experiential reports – and it only strengthens my mission and commitment to offer every caller who needs it, a place of safety, open-mindedness, freedom, unconditional acceptance, and full TG support, all offered in a completely judgment-free zone.

When my transgender callers come to me in need of an ear to listen, a shoulder on which to cry, and a voice that is not afraid to speak to and for who they really are at the core of their being, stereotypes, misconceptions, stigmatization, and reliance on limiting labels are all left outside in the cold. Bye bye bullshit!!

Has Someone Else’s Self-Perception Become YOUR Problem?

When you enter my TG-friendly zone, one of our goals will be to work toward helping you learn to accept and embrace yourself as a dynamic, valuable, and worthwhile person, because YOU ARE! I know it, and I want you to know and believe it! I want you to see the incredible, worthwhile, priceless person that I see in you!!

I also want you to come to the -sometimes quite shocking- awareness that you may have allowed -or readily welcomed without question- the flawed thought processes and bad attitudes of others to become your own, and you direct them at yourself. It may sound counterintuitive, but we can learn a great deal about how we view ourselves from what others have taught us by how they feel… about themselves!

To be continued…

TG, transgender

8 comments to The Profundity and Importance of Acceptance (Part One)

  • Petey cream puff

    I agree with this! For the longest time I was so afraid about my dressing in coming out and now that I did I feel so much better about my self! Especially now that I found a women into this. I was scared what her reaction would be as I thought she would’ve dumped and never wanted to see me ever again. But she didn’t. She asked if I was into guys/if I was gay and I told her no. She asked if I like makeup/sleeping in lingerie and I told her yes. She then asked if I wanted to buy Michael kor purse and I said yes and have bought 2 more. We then talked about what makeup/lipstick would go good on me,then after massage she measured/fitted me for a bra and kept me in it. I showed her my dresses while I had nothing but my bra/panty on. She loved my dressed/style and wanted to barrow them. 2 weeks ago she told me to come over to her house dressed/bring my lipsticks and try them on. With my skin complection it turned off orange and she said I needed burgundy/red, then she had me model the 2 Michael kor shoulder strap purses and said it matched my off white turtle neck sweater with my leggings but the ankle boots she said I need to wear women’s slacks and wear knee boots with the leggings. After I did that she took me in bathroom and sprayed me in perfumes/lotions. I told her being dressed/modeling purses and being in lipsticks/perfumes/lotions I look and smell like girl and she said this is what I wanted. I agreed with her and dude hat she asked and said. We plan on going shopping in 3 weeks for women’s slacks/halter tops/turtle neck sweaters/lipsticks/perfumes/lotions and have me get a makeover. She said she wants me dressed with turtleneck sweater/leggings/knee high boots/scarf/with pink shoulder strap purse and to wear my panty/bra. I’ll need to bring extra panty liners as I’m sure I’ll have hard on which in afraid she will see😳😢😧and I don’t want to make mess. Ms Olivia said if she wasn’t into this she would’ve changed subject and to me to stop this but she didn’t and she said by inviting me to her house that she’s into this. I’m so glad I came out and she into this. With 3x week 2 hour massages/monthly waxings this relationship is going to last for long long long time. The only drawback is she’s married but she told me her husband didn’t notice me dressed when he stopped by after one of my massages and didn’t say many thing or notice and if he did she would’ve stuck up for me. With her saying that I believe there’s attraction with me and that I’m really her cream puff who has her nails dug into me.

  • No wonder your TG callers adore you so much! It is clear that with you they can find the acceptance and guidance that they have been searching for thier entire lives! And the freedom to explore all of thier deepest dreams and desires. So often, trans people just simply want to feel valued and supported and desired. A simple, “You ARE beautiful” can do amazing things things to a person’s frame of mind! You are amazing Ms. EmmaJane!

  • Can I just say how much I LOVE the title of this post? I just had to click and find out more. Now more than ever we are faced with issues surrounding acceptance in Society or lack thereof, and it’s so important to establish safe spaces where members of the transgender community can feel open with themselves and others. What also stood out for me was the part about allowing the negative perceptions of others to become your own. It can happen to anybody! That’s why the work you do is so essential, Emma Jane. That heart image is so appropriate because you truly are a gem.

  • EmmaJane

    …And here, when my mind just blurted out the title, I thought to myself, “Hmmm… That might be a little too… generic? …simple? …vague?” – but it was already too late. I was married to it! Since you’re such a wonderfully intriguing, lively, and exceptionally creative woman, Ms. Alexis, I’m calling my move a good one; if I can catch your eye, I’ve scored! (Hey! I’ve heard your audios, Lady! You’re sharp as a tack and tickle me to no end!!)

    That said, thank you so much for your input and support. We ARE increasingly bombarded -and from so many different directions- by a lack of mutual acceptance and respect these days, and it’s a real shame. What makes it even more unfortunate is the fact that this kind of climate is a testament to the prevalence of a lack of self-acceptance, which only serves to perpetuate that harsh judgment of others. If so many would realize just how far a little acceptance can go…

    Thank you, Alexis, for your wonderful compliments and expressing your own thoughts on acceptance! I love it when you stop by!! 🙂

  • EmmaJane

    Truer words were never spoken, Ms. Sierra! You hit the nail on the head! It IS sometimes nothing short of unbelievable to realize the deep and affecting impact just a few kind words of validation and support can have on another person, especially one who has rarely or never heard anything positive said to them.

    Just yesterday, I was on our Sissy School forum when I came across a post in which you gave a newbie the best warm, open, and accepting welcome. It reminded me how happy I am to be part of a group of strong, open-minded, confident, and caring women, who have the character and capabilities to -on top of everything else that we do- give a soft, safe place to land for those who need it. Thank you for giving me that moment of thought, Sierra. You rock!! 🙂

  • EmmaJane

    Just take things one day at a time, Petey, and enjoy every moment for what it has to offer. Don’t worry about what tomorrow or next week may bring; immerse yourself in each and every minute of your feminine experience. It’s better to have a few intense moments than never to experience one at all. 🙂

  • […] of their own” because she “was one of them” – and she found that “novel kind of acceptance, as it felt,” oddly comforting and […]

  • […] told her I would always respect her, support her, and give her my fullest acceptance her just as she is – and however far she did or did not decide to go, as long as she was not […]

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