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*Click here to hear my thoughts on penis size in my own words.*

What Does “Penis Size” Really Mean?!penis size

When men volunteer their penis size or, after I hear that common question of “Is my penis too small?“, I inquire as to their size for evaluative purposes, nine-and-a-half times out of ten, the only figure they provide is that of length – and they can utter length size in a millisecond. Okay… And…? What about the other measurement?

When I move on to request girth size, I often feel like I have just presented the final Jeopardy question (an exceptionally challenging one) and that little tune begins playing as the clock counts down to the moment of truth. “Uhm…” “Hmmm… I don’t know.” “I’m not sure. I’ve never measured it.”

Men, Know BOTH of Your Dick Dimensions!

Seriously??? You don’t know the thickness of your own cock?! Are you kidding me?! (So if you ask my bra size, I can just give you “32” and ditch the cup size?!)

My next thought is “Well, if you don’t at least know the circumference of your penis, then I’m sure you have no clue what the diameter is.” (Of course, some men don’t even know the difference between circumference [around] and the diameter [through the middle]!)

Men, let this post serve as a definitive reminder that your penis DOES have more than one dimension. It has length AND girth. Length alone is NOT going to make you “memorable” when it comes to satisfying a woman.

Getting Around This Length “Phallacy”

As far as this obsession so many have with length alone, while a woman certainly wants a good length, men often forget that beyond a certain number of inches is a moot point.

“Why is that?”you ask.

Well, let your Humiliatrix just shine some light on some female anatomical truths for you, whether you own a needle-like pickle pecker, average Johnson or a thick salami:

One: It’s NOT a Bottomless Pit!

A woman’s vagina is only so deep. Period. (In fact, the average depth of a vagina is 3-4”. When aroused a vagina can expand up to 200%. IF it were on the high end of average and happened to lengthen by 200%, that’s 8” – so that means having a 10” is really nothing to brag out.) You’re using a penis to have sex; you’re not drilling miles down into the ocean floor for oil.

Two: You’re Not Trying To Break Down a Door!

“Bottoming out” may make you feel like big man on campus, but constantly pounding away on a woman’s cervix is not one’s idea of pleasure. It is not impressive, and it can be irritating, uncomfortable, and even painful. No woman wants to feel like she’s being fucked by a battering ram that is trying to find its way to her throat from her most intimate of areas!

Three: Medical Cotton Swabs Belong in a Doctor’s Office, Not a Vagina!

I, for one, have no interest in how many inches you have if your dick looks like a strand of angel hair pasta or Grandma’s knitting needle. I want to feel a cock. I want to experience that delicious sensation a thick dick provides. I want a cock to fuck me, not gouge me. How on Earth does any man think a woman longs for an 8” or 9” wisp of a dick that couldn’t stretch out a keyhole, let alone a vagina?!

So… The next time you think a dick can only be small if it’s short, think again. The next time you assume telling a woman you’re packing 10″ is impressive, reel yourself back in. Look down at your naked crotch, grab a (cloth) sewing tape measure, get yourself fully erect, and then wrap that tape measure around your hard-on. Viola! Now, you’ve got the number we REALLY want to know!

Long live a thick dick – and needle dicks head on over to the small penis humiliation camp!!