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A Large Penis Is Not Always a Big Deal: Dick Types II

big dick, lazy dick, large penis, dud dick…And  we’re back with more dud dicks of the large kind. We identified the lazy couch potato dick and the fishing pole penis in the previous post. Now it’s time to add three more dud dick types to our list, remembering that size matters, BUT bigger IS NOT always better!

Bad big dick type three: The oil derrick dick

This dud dick thinks deep-drilling is all it takes to please a woman.

Bottoming out inside a pussy can be a wonderful thing if you know what you’re doing. If you’re just ramming back and forth like you’re trying to slam your way through the ocean floor, your big penis card needs to be confiscated and burned.

Men, burn these reminders into your brain: (A) A vagina is NOT a bottomless pit. (B) Using you cock as a battering ram does NOT feel good! (C) Repeated stabbing is NOT fucking! It’s mechanical, uncomfortable, and boring!!

That is NOT the way to properly worship a pussy with you penis! Get a grip and control that cock (or gripping it yourself may be all you’re doing with it!

Bad big dick type four: The Hindenberg dick

This big dick appears to be very promising, even remarkable, but it turns into a disaster area.

A large penis is always a good idea in theory, but sometimes they are destined to crash and burn. It’s off to a good start, things seem to be going very well, and then… unexpectedly, it goes up in flames and takes a nosedive, fully crashing in under a minute.

“Large penis,” “unexpectedly fast,” and “disaster” are words that should never appear together in a sentence…

Bad big dick type five: The mouse on a wheel dick

This is the large penis that just goes and goes and goes with no apparent end or destination anywhere in sight. Oh, it’s enthusiastic and vigorous, but it’s like watching a video clip on a loop.

It doesn’t take very long before this penis becomes tedious, dull, and predictable – and the woman who is subjected to that seemingly endless repetition just wants to know where the “stop” button is so she can get off the ride!

penis size, small penis, large penis, penis humiliation

4 comments to A Large Penis Is Not Always a Big Deal: Dick Types II

  • real houseboy

    There’s no denying that Ms. EmmaJane gives devastating “bad big dick yawn”.

    **Calls out into the casting lobby** “Next?”

  • EmmaJane

    I suppose it’s a good thing that you don’t have a “bad dick” or make me yawn – and you won’t hear me complaining about the size either… 😉

  • Mr. Thimble

    OMG so jealous of real houseboy right now! I can’t imagine what it would be like having such a skilled and satisfying rod that the LDW ladies praised it instead of giggling at it!

    Real houseboy you should put on a clinic and show all of us betas on here what we’re missing & how to use our exquipment like a true alpha.

  • EmmaJane

    Hold the phone there, Mr. Thimble! While my real houseboy has the goods to be commended, I never said that made him an alpha male… He is a REAL houseboy because he has the goods AND knows his rightful place with a strong woman.

    Another point to keep in mind is that one’s owning a highly prized collection of Picasso works does not make one an art dealer or historian; you’re merely a collector with an impressive taste and collection.

    Having a “good” cock across the board does no automatically put said cock in the driver’s seat. This car is mine, baby, and I’ll be the one behind the wheel planning the trip; you can follow along on the map. 😉

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