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Penis Size 101: The Unfortunate Girth Oversight

penis sizeWhat Really Matters to Women When It Comes to Penis Size?

I recently penned a post on penis size and small penis humiliation, really only mentioning girth almost in-passing and failing to notice that I was really focusing more on -and unintentionally reinforcing- the unidimensional, end-all-and-be-all, completely incorrect assumption by all too many men that dick length is where it’s at.

Thanks to a valid comment by one of the small pool of men who proactively mention the real deal -girth!- this oversight jumped out at me, and I would like to set the record straight.

…But What About Girth?

In response to my post “One Small Penis, Two Big Questions,” “length and width” posted the following questions and comments on penis size and women’s preference:

Everyone is always talking about length, but I’ve been told that girth really is more important. Nobody talks about what is large/average/small in girth though. When it comes to length I’m definitely on the smaller side – maybe in the chapstick to lipstick range. I think the only reason that I’ve been able to satisfy my partners is because my girth is a lot closer to being “average.” Where is the acceptable range for girth though?

I had one really good friend that I was open with about my size tell me that she thought it would be a good idea for me to try and become skilled with my tongue and fingers. But everyone I’ve actually been with seems to have been relatively satisfied. I’m not quite sure.

Is it true that girth is really what matters?

Girth as Length’s Bargaining Chip

Length-and-width, what you’ve been told about girth is certainly true! When it comes to penis size and women’s sexual satisfaction, WIDTH is key!

Furthermore, in my personal opinion, there is absolutely some room for negotiation when it comes to length, IF and only if the length is at least “respectable” in my assessment AND has an above-average girth. Sometimes a good penile girth can be the savior of a small deficit in length (as judged by MY individual standards).

Give Me Girth… Or Give Me My Favorite Dildo!

Now, down to the brass tacks of girth… According to a 2015 literature review of 17 previous studies -the most comprehensive review ever done on penis size, which included a total of 15,521 men across all ages and races- by a team at King’s College of London (1), found the average circumference of an erect penis to be 4.59″ (11.66cm); that’s 1.46″ (3.7cm) in diameter. The diameter of a “standard” cardboard cylinder inside a roll of toilet paper is roughly 1.625″.

While that may be the average girth, I scoff at those measurements, as I am a true size queen when it comes to girth, and a man needs to be sporting (at least) 1.75″ in diameter to really get my attention.

So, after all that, the most important thing I have to say (as a femdom AND a Woman) about girth is “Go big or go home!”

emmajane@enchantrixempire.com YIM: empress.emmajane Call 800-601-6975

emmajane@enchantrixempire.com
YIM: empress.emmajane
Call 800-601-6975

Reference

(1) Veale, D., Miles, S., Bramley, S., Muir, G., & Hodsoll, J. (2015). Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men. BJU International, 115(6), 978-986.

16 comments to Penis Size 101: The Unfortunate Girth Oversight

  • Mike

    When I have been unlucky enough to fall into a “discussion” on this topic I have heard several women insist it is “both” – length and girth that matters. I use “quotes” as it has been more me doing the listening as I don’t get to weigh in too much on how women feel about this issue…being a guy. However what one (insistant) female friend told me is that they both matter but in different ways. She says that both length and girth are important to her but in actually having sex – the girth even more so. However she says that length is also important just not as important. She does feel that length is a key though in terms of both the visual excitement and handling a good sized guy. She says it makes her feel like she is with a real MAN and that she then feels more like a woman. Yes, I am interested in more than friendship but am totally intimidated. When you are attracted you second guess and think does she really, really, feel that way but I think most women do in fact want a good sized guy.

  • Length & Girth

    Holy smokes, EmmaJane!

    What a reply to my questions. I’m blown away. Very accurate data on “average” with footnotes and all. And clear about what “large” is too. Glad I was right about girth being key, even if the answer is a little bit humbling. Are there really men out there with 2.5 inch thick penises? Damn! A woman as beautiful, confident and articulate as you are definitely deserves the biggest and best, but I had no idea that size was even possible! At a little over an inch thick, I’m almost up to “average” girth but 2.5 inches is as thick as two of me side by side! Smokes…

    Still, I appreciate the outstanding reply! It’s important for the smaller guys to know how we stack up. Usually a partner won’t level with us about “size”. And as little guys we can really embarrass ourselves if we forget where we stand. One time I learned that one the hard way. I’m sure the story is one that some of the mistresses here would get a chuckle from & some of the SPH fans would get little rock hard stiffies from too. I was hanging out with the same friend that I mentioned in my comment – the one who suggested that with my size, I might consider learning to be really good with my tongue and fingers.

    I was hanging out with her and a couple of her girlfriends. This was sort of a girlfriends group plus me & they all treated me like a really close friend. This time the issue of penis size came up. One of them named Candice was seeing a guy who was definitely large. She described him as “hung”. And it turns out I *thought* I knew what that meant. Boy was I wrong. Before that day, I always thought I was average. And so I thought it was “average” for a man to have a penis like mine that pokes straight out like a little thimble when it’s soft. Any man who was big enough for his soft penis to curve and hang down, to me that meant he was “hung”. I thought that’s why it was called being “hung” in the first place. I had no idea back that that almost every penis hangs down, and mine was just tiny.

    So I asked Candice “What kind of hung was he? I mean there’s men who are hung and then there’s men who are HUNG…” She asked what I meant & I said “Well, there’s hung like the statue of David, and then there’s hung like a porn star…” The ladies all giggled and one of them mentioned she didn’t really think the statue of David was hung at all. I said “Sure the statue of David is hung, he’s huge!”. They all agreed that David was definitely not hung. Kind of small actually. So I pulled up a photo of the statue on my phone. “See look there he is.” They all laughed again and said he’s definitely kind of small. No I said, he’s just soft. “And he’s not like a normal thimble one at all. He’s so big that even when he’s soft his penis dangles down – that’s the basically the definition of being hung.” Then they were quiet for a second and just looked at me. Candace giggled a little nervously and said “Did you say a *thimble* one?”. I was quiet for a second, reeling. Then all of them realized at once that I was being totally serious and started laughing out loud. Not only was it totally obvious I had no idea what a real dick was like, my “thimble” comment made it totally obvious exactly how big mine was. It was horrible. I was so humiliated.

    It’s so important, especially for a little guy, to know right where he stands. Otherwise we too easily fall into “little dick denial” and wind up embarrassing ourselves. Better to have somebody tell it to us like it is. Thanks for your amazing reply EmmaJane, letting us know just what it takes to be big enough to get your attention, and also letting us know right where we stand versus the “average” crowd. With a link to the data and everything! Sometimes the truth hurts a bit, but it’s better to have it straight! You gotta know where you stand.

    Thank you so much!

  • EmmaJane

    Length & Girth (or should I start calling “Mr. Thimble?!), it would appear I tattled on myself, but I will come clean for the sake of further reinforcement of the importance of penis girth. I accidentally slipped a wrong number in there when I mentioned the diameter it takes for a man to get my attention. That 2.5″… Well, that’s the diameter of one of my favorite toys. (I did say I’m a size queen!) If you will notice, I corrected myself to reflect my actual preference in a man’s penile diameter. (You’ll find it to be 1.75” – or more…)

    By the way, this faux pas in my numbers may well lead to another post to follow, in which I will address another myth that men commonly perpetuate and believe about women; that’s the notion that a large penis or cock stretches a vagina where it’s “loose” forever. All I’ll say about that now is that my 2.5″ in diameter toy does not boast the largest diameter in my collection – and I am incredibly tight. Hint: Muscle tone, Baby! Muscle tone! (See what you’ve started with your innocent question on girth?!) 😉

    I would also like to chime in with the same opinion of the ladies who obviously enlightened you a bit: The statue of David does not give us (well, not me at least) an example of a penis worth writing home about – or even mentioning. No. It is far from being “impressive” or qualifying as “hung” – but again, I like ’em (really!) big. It definitely sounds like the discussion you mentioned was a revelation for you on what women think about size.

    If we (women) don’t share our honest opinions with you, then how are you to know OUR thoughts on size? You can’t. The truth may sting, but like you said, you need to know where you stand.

  • L & g

    Lol, “Mr. Thimble” you’re hilarious. 🙂 But the combination of a woman who is confident, good with words, and beautiful is like kryptonite. Things don’t stay “thimble” sized for long. All that excitement is bound to bring things up to full strength. The “thimble” grows to all the length and girth of a lipstick tube in no time at all! 😉

    The creativity & sense of humor of all the LDW mistresses is totally awesome! I think it was Ms. Harper who challenged all the “LDW little guys” to make “humiliation prints” of their “little bits” by lubing up the mushing their lubed up parts onto a piece of paper and emailing her photos of the tiny imprints. Hilarious idea! Lol

    The mistresses have awesome blogs all around. 🙂

  • EmmaJane

    L&G, I want you to know that I will NEVER be able to look at a thimble again without thinking of you and laughing at the association. I suppose you’ve earned yourself a place in the EmmaJane mental hall of fame. What a way -and for what a reason!- to make a “sizable” impression! 😀 [Insert laughter here.]

    My mind has now created a slogan for you by merging the words you just spoke/typed: “From thimble to lipstick tube in no time flat!!” I feel a hilarious blog itch that may have to be scratched…

  • L&G

    The EmmaJane mental hall of fame!?!? Wow! I imagine you hear from some interesting guys now and then. I’m glad I made a “sizable” impression!

    I suppose there might be some guys in the mental hall of fame who are bigger, of course. But hey, there wouldn’t be big dicks if there weren’t small dicks. Some guys were meant to have big cocks. And some of us were meant to be the reason their cocks are big. 😉

  • EmmaJane

    Yes. There’s big, there’s wee, and there’s everything in between. Variety allows and is necessary to have accurate points of reference. Were that not the case, I’m sure I would not have looked so shell-shocked when my eyes fell upon the first teeny weenie I ever saw: truly a scrawny dill-pickle-of-a-dick, towering at a proud 3″ at best. I could not help my spontaneous thought of “Now, what ever do you think I am to do with this? You can do your thing, and I’ll just watch the mini-magic…” Of course, that made me appreciate “more substantial” manhood even more. 😉

  • EmmaJane

    There should be a nice balance (with girth taking the lead if one dimension overshadows the other). I have to say that I find girth to be every bit as moving as length when it comes to the visual perspective. I don’t care if a guy has 8″or 9″ if it looks like a long wispy sliver of paper that just came out of the shredder. I would also have to add that a “real” man has more than just size; he has the know-how and is in full command and control of his cock. I like my men like I prefer my steak: big, thick, juicy, and hits the spot every time.

  • Mr. Thimble ;)

    Lol, not the scrawny dill pickle! I love all the object comparisons in this thread. We’ve got the little pickles, the lipsticks, thimbles wispy thin paper shredder strips and of course, everyone’s favorite, the beefsteaks. The toy comparisons have come in as well. You know its a bad sigh whenever you’re sized right out of the toy market. For the pickles, lipsticks and thimbles, they don’t even make toys to compare.

    How many of the guys on here know what it’s like to even be too little to lock up. Some of the pickles and thimbles are so small they fall right out of chastity when they’re locked up. I remember one of the LDW ladies told me to find a dildo to match my size. If I couldn’t, then I knew everything I needed to know about penis size. What a great humiliation assignment! Turns out there is one out there I was able to find in exactly the right size. But the manufacturer in question called that model the “LIttle Limpy” lol. You can bet that led to a nickname. 😉

  • EmmaJane

    I know, Mr. Thimble! The scrawny dill pickle is in the recipe for chicken salad, NOT the one for happy girl parts!! Give me a big, fat, meaty kielbasa any day of the week!

    As far as toy comparisons go, I’ve seen some cute little toy flutes that -being wee in both length and girth- are unfortunately comparable to some diminutive boy horns out there (and I wouldn’t care to blow either of them!)…

    Speaking of small sex toys, I once saw a dildo that was 4″ long x “barely” 1″ in diameter. It was advertised as being “very small” and -this is the best!- “for masochists”! You know I laughed my ass off because that is so true. Only a woman who has masochistic tendencies would touch that thing with a 10-foot pole! I guess if you wanted to fire off “Is it in yet?” and mean it, then that’s your go-to dildo. So… That says what about your thimble-sized magnificence there??? *Truly writhing in my chair laughing* 😀

  • […] addressed this girth oversight before with the hope that those who think a dick is one-dimensional will finally realize that is […]

  • […] Now, let me be perfectly clear here. I am not talking about cases where a woman arbitrarily calls an average-sized penis “little” because she’s touting herself as a size queen,  striving to reinforce the “The bigger, the better” premise or pushing the buttons of one who gets a sexual thrill from SPH mockery, despite the fact that they’re actually average or beyond in penis size. […]

  • Mike

    I guess it is obvious but I had never before realized that the term “hung” mean just that – that the penis then “hangs” down and for a small guy it does not “hang” and therefore he is not “hung”. I have been around “those kind” of conversations before a number of times – where I am the only guy and there are two or three or more girls talking about this and about guys endowments. I have never admitted how terrifying it is (how could you). The girls or women are all pretty and calm and totally relaxed and casual. I am feeling like I am a mouse or walking on ice. They seem literally like they have all the power. I can still recall the very very first time I heard a pretty girl (who I liked) casually mention that a guy she knew was “well hung”. I felt like a minion instantly. Like I could be her “friend” but I was not on the eligible side of things. I don’t know if this was conscious on her part but maybe it was.

  • EmmaJane

    Oh…!!! *laughing* Mike, your first sentence is nothing short of priceless, and the amusement it brought me was beyond simply satisfactory in its amusement value! That just about sums it up, my dear. You’ve got to have an adequate amount to be able to actually hang, else you’re just bouncing, bobbing, and/or poking out!

    By the way, when you chose the term “minion,” did you realize that it begins with “mini” – or was that a true Freudian slip there? Either way, it elicited quite a snicker from me. 😉

  • Length & Girth (aka Mr. Thimble)

    Hey Mike, I totally get how you feel man. As a guy with a dick so little it earned the nick “Mr. Thimble” from EmmaJane, I used to feel just like a mouse or a minion. Anxiety. Insecurity. Fear. The whole bit.

    But I realized those feelings were based on a misunderstanding. My last girlfriend is the first to really spell it out for me. She called it being “pussyfree”. At first it wasn’t easy to accept. But I did eventually accept that my fear, anxiety and insecurity all stemmed from trying to fill a role that wasn’t mine to fill. It was based on a complete misunderstanding. And letting go of the misunderstanding gave me a whole new confidence.

    Before, I was all about trying to please pussy with a little thimble dick. It’s an impossible task. I was trying to get pussy, keep pussy, fill pussy, stretch pussy. But I didn’t have the equipment for the job and that was the source of my insecurities. The tough truth is that tiny dicks like mine just aren’t designed for pussies and the sooner I accepted that the happier I would be. The longer I tried to act like what I wasn’t, the more it caused fear and insecurity to well up in me. It’s that simple really.

    But if I accept it and let the dicks designed for pussy take care of the pussies, then it frees me to accept a different role. One that I can actually handle. It’s a lot more fulfilling and satisfying. But you have to swallow the bitter pill first and accept that pussy is out of the picture for you. As a “small guy” once you accept that you’re pussyfree, it opens tons of other areas where you can focus your attention that don’t cause so much angst and insecurity.

    EmmaJane you should consider a blog post on how freeing it can be for little guys to go “pussyfree” or maybe a series that follows up with ways to tell if you are meant to go pussyfree.

  • EmmaJane

    Well… We hear from Mr. Thimble! I’m quite happy to hear that you’ve had an epiphany about the way you felt. Yes. When one tries or wishes to be or accomplish something he/she clearly cannot or is not (because it is unchangeable, like penis size), it naturally leads to angst. Hell! I would love to walk on the moon, but I’m no astronaut; so I would freak right out were I to think I was expected to zip on out to space and set my flashy moon boots down on the Sea of Tranquility! Along that line of reasoning, no one could expect you to build an exquisite cabin with nothing more than a Lincoln Log, which was never meant to be thought of as real building material.

    I applaud this change and new attitude in you! I might just have to take your suggestion and pen a series on the no-pussy penis and the liberation in letting the pussy go. Thank you for the suggestion, Mr. Thimble! (By the way, you know the thimble in a sewing box cannot ever penetrate any cloth, regardless of kind because it wasn’t meant to do so, but it nonetheless has other important functions… Your Thimble moniker is apropos even in the context of your enlightenment!) 😉

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