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One Small Penis, Two Big Questions

Small Penis Phone Sex Mistress EmmaJane 800-601-6975The Two-Fold Dick Question

The words “small penis” are echoing in your head. Thinking about them makes you want to ask me a question, and you suspect you already know the answer prior to your inquiry.  However, because hearing the truth of the matter can only drive the point home (and you take an odd delight in hearing it ring out in the open air), you nervously ask me anyway.

“Do you think my x” dick is small?”

I assume that any question you have regarding what I think of the size of your magic masturbatory wand is always accompanied by another question, whether spoken or unspoken. My confirmation of your size deficit leads you to immediately and reflexively wonder, “If my penis is small, how can it ever be of any use to women?”

That is a valid question, and one with a definitive answer, which I will readily share with the same degree of clarity as your first question. Prepare yourself! You are about to enter the femdom zone of small penis humiliation and little dick damnation

Let Me Be Clear About This Size Issue

First, if you think you have a small penis, then you most likely do. (While there ARE exceptions to this rule, those are few and far in between.) The way you wistfully present your size as “almost 4,” “over 3 inches,” “around 4, I think” or a precise “4.125 inches” (and conveniently neglect to initially mention that your tiny toadstool is of tiny diameter and looks like a mini-knitting needle), we both know there is no way to avoid the stinging yet reinforcing answer that you are without a sliver of doubt a candidate for small penis humiliation.

As a self-professed and unapologetic size queen, I have no qualms about assessing the stubby, scrawny, shrunken or otherwise subpar status of your little man who lives down south of your belt – and ensuring complete clarity on the matter.

After all, it is what it is, and trying to sell a “lengthy” or “fat” lie to you would be like my telling you I am a towering, statuesque Amazon – and we both know that is not even close to the truth!

Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself and appreciate the honesty of others, as any personal delusions we may have do not change the truth of the matter!

Small Penis Humiliation To the Rescue!

Speaking of truths, since there is the fact that the focus of those toting around a penis obsess over dick length almost exclusively, let me make it blatantly that women do NOT long for a puny pencil dick – and why would we?!?! Any inkling you may have that any real woman is going to lust over your little lap lizard -whether like a strand of angel hair pasta AND/OR a tube of ChapStick- is a joke! Thinking that a woman could be happy with a baby dill boner is as silly and facetious as thinking that women long for hairy male backs, clumsy Neanderthal-like groping, and blink-and-you-miss-it jackrabbit sex. No thanks!!

However, one thing women do immensely enjoy in men is a good sense of humor – and you’ve got between your legs the gift of humor that keeps on giving! If you want to give a woman a hearty laugh, all you have to do is whip out that twenty-first finger… that baby carrot stick… that dried-up dicklet!

That crotch caterpillar will never fail in that regard! Success with a little nub CAN be yours!

It’s so good the be a SPH Mistress! Long live small penis humiliation!!

4 comments to One Small Penis, Two Big Questions

  • Hidden pee pee

    Here’s another SPH joke:

    A man had met a very beautiful and curvy woman at the nightclub and somehow managed to get her in the mood of taking things into more intimate level. So they went back to his place and started to make out and take off each other’s clothes.

    Soon came the moment when this extremely hot female was pulling down his pants eagerly, with a hope of seeing a nice, Long and Thick, Manly Sausage. But to her surprise the only thing she could find, was a way too short cocktail wiener! She couldn’t hold back her reaction and started to giggle to this unmanly sight. She just thought it was such a funny looking little thing between his muscular legs.

    The “man” (like we could say at this point) was of course embarrassed and turned all red, and tried to hide his weenie. It took him a while to get his act back together while looking at that beautiful, curvy woman giggling at his “manhood”, and actually say something back. This is what he said as his defence regarding his short pee pee: “Maybe if I water it, it will grow?”

    What do you think Mistress EmmaJane?

    Do small pee pees actually grow bigger if they just get proper watering and a nice dose of sunlight?

  • […] response to my post “One Small Penis, Two Big Questions,” “length and width” posted the following questions and comments on penis size and […]

  • EmmaJane

    “Hidden pee pee”… I can hardly type for laughing! Is it like a frightened little turtle, hiding in its shell? *more laughter*

    I love this joke! If watering and sunlight were all it took to make a tiny pee pee grow, I’d throw on a bonnet and keep a watering can and grow light kit on permanent standby! Whew! I think I might need some supplemental oxygen… TOO funny! 😀

  • […] me that you’re a little dick jerk-off because you know no woman wants anything to do with your pint-sized penis; therefore, you have to pick up the slack. Would that be the […]

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